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  “Ethan says hi.”

  The look on her face softened and heat colored her cheeks. It was the first sign that she was remotely interested in anything he had to say.

  Now he had her attention.

  “You saw him?” Hope clung to her words, even though she tried to sound casual about it all. Tyler could see right through that veil. “No, he called me. About time too, seeing as I’d left him a couple of messages in the last week—what with all the action taking place around here.”

  “That’s funny. He didn’t call me,” she muttered. “How he is? Where is he? What’s he doing?” The concern in her voice was hard to hide, and he looked at her closely.

  “He says Nadine’s going to Europe for a year or so. Doesn’t sound as though they’re together much.”

  Zoe walked over to him, pulled out a chair, sat down, then propped her arms up on the table. All of a sudden she was interested. But it was something more than casual interest. He could read her body language as easily as a Dr. Seuss book.

  He put down his empty can. Now she wanted to talk, needed more information. He moved his chair closer to the edge, closer to her. She started to squirm, and he liked that he was making her feel that way. “All of a sudden you’ve got time to talk?” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

  “We’ve hardly heard from him since we left, except a few emails. I need to speak to him about this…living situation.”

  Tyler looked deep into her brown eyes, held her gaze, made her blush. He didn’t say a word as the truth unraveled.

  She had a thing for Ethan.

  That was it.

  Whichever way she tried to disguise it, he could see it as clear as the flour on her hair.

  “Yeah, we do.” He picked up the empty can and squashed it like a sheet of paper.

  As much as he liked Ethan, the guy was the only one who girls flocked to, even when Tyler was around.

  Chapter 10

  Ethan and Nadine splitting up?

  If Nadine was moving to Europe for a year, and she and Ethan weren’t spending much time together, then maybe things weren’t so tight between them. So Zoe reasoned.

  She felt her body jolt. There was no way Ethan would instigate this. He was totally in love with the woman. Zoe would bet her bottom dollar that if it had come down to anyone, the decision would have been Nadine’s.

  That woman really didn’t know when she had a good thing going.

  Zoe’s heart beat furiously and yet she felt ashamed of her upbeat feeling at the same time.

  She couldn’t help wondering if Ethan might end up living back here.

  If this was really true, it might mean he was …single again.

  She pushed her thoughts away before the wishful thinking won out. The sharp sound of the oven timer rescued her from her predicament and she got her oven gloves on, ready to take the cupcakes out.

  This whole thinking about Ethan was something she was supposed to be getting over, not continually sinking in.

  Why did Tyler have to mention that? And what was up with the guy anyway? She thought he might want to hang around for a cupcake or two. She told him they’d be ready soon, but after hanging around the kitchen sniffing like a dog, he couldn’t wait to leave all of a sudden.

  She checked the cupcakes—the ones on the top shelf looked perfect. Golden brown in color. She pulled them out and left the other tray still in. They’d need maybe another five minutes. Becca loved these and Zoe intended them to be a sort of peace offering, because Becca still couldn’t quite understand why Zoe didn’t want to go back to her old job and try something as complicated and dull-sounding as programming.

  Turning them out onto a cooling rack, Zoe mused over the last time she’d seen Ethan and Nadine. She and Billy had been invited to spend Christmas with them.

  It had turned out to be a wonderful day. She’d been buoyed up by the relief of leaving work and was excitedly looking forward to their traveling adventure. These two pluses had enabled her to cope with watching Ethan consumed by his love for Nadine.

  Watching the two of them together that night had been made easier by drinking lots of wine.

  And yet she hated feeling that way. It was like an addiction. She was happy for them—she really was. But…oh god, why could she not find someone who looked at her, and listened to her, and was there for her the way Ethan was for Nadine?

  Was it selfish of her to expect more?

  Maybe the problem lay with her, for being so ungrateful for what she had. It was a vicious circle and Zoe hated being caught up in it.

  She had hated herself for feeling that way. Ethan was her friend, and she wanted the best for him. She even knew, deep down, that Nadine was good for him, that she made him happy.

  Zoe took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She wasn’t a bad person, she really wasn’t. After all, wasn’t she the one who had gotten Ethan and Nadine back together again when they’d fallen out after their weekend away at her company do?

  Zoe tried to push the thoughts away, but they always resurfaced, these overpowering feelings for him. There were days she couldn’t stop thinking about him—and wishing she were with him. In those thoughts, Nadine never existed.

  And those were the times Zoe hated herself even more.

  But, if Ethan and Nadine were having problems…if they were splitting up…

  And she herself had split from Billy…

  Maybe.

  Someday.

  There might be a chance of…something?

  And then reality hit her: if Ethan returned, and Tyler had already laid claim to her and Billy’s old room—she had nowhere to stay.

  She would have to find another place because she couldn’t sleep on the couch forever.

  Knowing Ethan, being the fair kind of guy that he was, he wouldn’t ask Tyler to move out, just so Zoe could move back in. Or would he? Maybe she could have a word with him. After all, it was Billy’s old room.

  She felt a surge of excitement fueling her hopes. If things were to play out and she had a chance at something—if Ethan ever came around to feeling the same way about her—would she take it?

  But reality soon hit her and she felt weighed down, anchored, even—as if she couldn’t summon up the energy to lift a finger. It was plain to see; Ethan had never, in all the time she had known him, felt that way about anyone as he did about Nadine. It wasn’t only Billy who said it; it was something that Zoe could see for herself.

  There was nothing more soul destroying than having feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same way. God knows she’d tried to make it work with Billy.

  She was really no better off now than when she had first left. Here she was, still sitting here thinking about Ethan, when she should have known better. A waitress in a pancake place, working a part-time job instead of a full-time office one, single again, back prematurely from a once in a lifetime traveling adventure, and now clutching at hope for a place on a programming course.

  She might have better odds of winning the lottery.

  What was she doing with her life?

  The bitter smell of burning assaulted her nostrils and she jumped up, rushing towards the oven. The second batch of cakes was burnt. Not to a cinder, but enough to be labeled as burnt.

  She slammed the baking tray down. These were only good for throwing away.

  Tyler rushed in. He’d changed out of his jeans. Now he was all dressed up in a dark gray suit. The combination of the dark color, his hair brushed back away from his face, and that devastating designer stubble gave him a wolf-like appearance.

  “Burnt?” he asked in surprise, passing by her to grab the wallet he’d left on the table.

  So swept away was she by his sudden transformation that she couldn’t reply.

  “Daydreaming?” he remarked sarcastically.

  She found her tongue at last. “Hot escort date?”

  He shrugged indifference at her, then flew out of the door before she could offer him one of her good cakes. Though she could te
ll as plainly as her cakes were burnt, that he was pissed off with her.

  She didn’t recall doing anything to set him off. But all the same, she wondered where he was going, and to see whom?

  Zoe sat down and thought about icing them. But she’d try one first, to make sure they were worthy of being iced. Maybe two.

  She didn’t want Ethan coming back. She didn’t want to wander about in limbo, watching other people get their lives together while hers fell apart.

  Chapter 11

  The thick buttery smell of batter permeated her skin and hair and made her feel nauseous at first. But by the second week, she was more than used to it. She was now more than prepared for handling the orders, dealing with sometimes pushy customers, and navigating the plates of food delivered at top speed. So far she had only gotten one order wrong.

  The others told her she was doing good. Most of them messed up orders every single day, for the first few days at least. But Mr. Campbell, the paunchy, jowl-faced manager, still gave her hard looks and never praised her about anything. She managed to get through her days only because she was now certain she hadn’t gotten a place on the course.

  It would start the following week and they hadn’t even had the decency to email her and tell her that all places had been taken. At least then she’d stop raising her hopes, stop checking her email.

  She’d long given up holding out for it and had started looking online for other similar courses, as well as other jobs she could go for. This stint at the pancake house was only temporary, she promised herself. It was hard work, being on her feet for the whole time.

  At moments like this she missed her deskbound job. But she reminded herself she was doing this for a reason—even though trying to remain optimistic in the face of no course place sometimes pushed her beyond her limits.

  Ethan seemed to have disappeared into thin air and there was no way of contacting him. Zoe had gotten used to sleeping on the couch. She and Tyler bumped into each other only occasionally, and time was flying by.

  Valentine’s Day had passed uneventfully and the only sign to mark the occasion had been the few heart-shaped red helium balloons that Mr. Campbell had placed around the diner.

  The Pancake House Special for the day had been heart-shaped pancakes, which were a nightmare to cook, judging by the swear words coming out of the kitchen.

  Zoe rushed around, taking orders easily now that she was fully accustomed to the customers and workplace. The diner filled up fast and the hours between six and eight were often the busiest. It seemed that pancakes weren’t only a morning obsession. And this place offered a lot more enticements in addition to their pancakes.

  It was almost as if people were sick of pizza and tacos and for now, pancakes, with all sorts of side dishes on offer, made for a light snack.

  The people she worked with were nice, though she found herself too busy, from the minute she arrived to the moment she shuffled out exhausted, to make small talk with anyone. This was nothing like being in an office. The pace here was relentless and it was always noisy.

  She didn’t mind that she wasn’t going to get to know anyone too well. She, like half the staff, was part-time. The hours suited her—even though she had based them around a course that hadn’t materialized. She wasn’t paid a lot of money either, but it would be enough.

  Besides, this was only a temporary measure. A stepping stone to bigger and better things.

  “Two plates, table four.” She took the plates from the kitchen and dashed out towards table four.

  Getting ready to read from her slip of the order, she said, “Two plates, Apple Danish and French Toast,” and smiled at the faceless man and woman, whose eyes didn’t even reach her face but fixated upon the plates of pancakes in her hand.

  “Thanks,” they murmured, to no one in particular.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a hand go up and someone vied for her attention. Then from behind her, she heard someone say her name. It was a familiar voice and it sent her heart racing.

  “Zoe?”

  When she turned around, Ethan’s blue eyes stared back at hers. He wore his easy, sexy grin.

  Her heart dropped as he got up and walked towards her and gave her a big hug.

  “Hey, I was just thinking about you,” he said happily.

  You were?

  She felt suddenly embarrassed, especially in her white apron and silly hat.

  Ethan stepped back and sat down. “Tyler told me you were back. How come? You and Billy were—I mean—,” he stopped short and stared at her; the same blue eyes, short-cropped hair, the same sexy smile. She’d imagined it so many times and here he was.

  She was so taken away seeing him so unexpectedly that she didn’t think to reply.

  “So you work here now?” His voice inflected at the end, as if he found it hard to believe she was waitressing here.

  She nodded her head, not knowing where to start and unwilling to have a long conversation with him just yet. “I’ll have to tell you some other time.” She wondered just how much he knew about her and Billy; whether Billy had gotten in touch and updated him since.

  “We’ll have to catch up. I’ve been meaning to call you. I’m sorry I didn’t—I got your messages. It’s been a bit of a rough time, with my mom and all.”

  Zoe paled. “How is she?”

  “She’s good. Recovering, definitely getting better, but it will take time.”

  That explained why he had been out of touch for so long. She knew he was close to his mom and sisters. She envied the close bond he had with his family.

  “It’s so good to see you again,” she gushed, suddenly overcome with a warm feeling at having seen him. He was here, face-to-face with her—someone who’d only existed in her thoughts for the last few months. Someone who understood her and was her friend. Yes, it was so good to have Ethan back.

  “Can’t you sit and chat for a while? It’s great to see you too, Zoe.” He shuffled up on the seat, making space for her. “Tyler told me you were back. How come? How’s Billy?”

  She waved her hand, indicating she couldn’t join him. What I wouldn’t give to sit here with you right now and tell you all my troubles.

  “I can’t. I’d love to, but I can’t.” She flicked a gaze over to the corner where her manager was watching her. He’d gone over to tend to the customer that she’d forgotten about.

  Ethan followed her gaze and opened up the menu. “It’s OK,” he said, giving her that grin she missed so much. “I’ll take a long time examining this menu.” His eyes twinkled when he gave her a mischievous smile. She almost melted on the spot.

  This, this right here—this man, this face, this emotion he elicited in her, of feeling warm and happy—this was what Ethan was all about.

  “And I’ll pretend to scribble something down.” She smiled back, getting ready with the pencil. “Why don’t you come over sometime?”

  “I will. I promise. I want to know what happened to you guys—the trip and all. Is Billy all right?” She guessed he hadn’t heard from Billy after all.

  She nodded, then turned her head as a sharply dressed woman with an abundance of curls breezed passed her. The woman slipped into the booth next to Ethan, who leaned in and kissed her full on the lips.

  And just as Zoe’s heart almost flat lined, her brain connected and recognized that the woman was Nadine.

  “Sorry. Had to deal with some paperwork,” Nadine said breathlessly. “Remind me not to go back there again while I’m on my two-week leave of absence.”

  His eyes had locked onto Nadine’s and Zoe no longer existed. He flicked a curl away from her cheek. “You didn’t have to go now. Wish you’d remember that you’re all mine for two weeks—no Zimmerman, or Sandra.”

  Nadine leaned into him and kissed him on the lips. He smiled at her as she moved away.

  Remembering where he was, Ethan suddenly looked towards Zoe, who stood watching them, wishing she were a million miles away. “Look, who’s here.”

>   Nadine looked to her side, then sprang up in surprise, and the two women hugged each other.

  “Zoe. You’re back?” Their friendship was new, but they shared a quiet liking for one another.

  Again, Zoe shrugged. Her world had just shattered to pieces, her emotions in tatters.

  Nadine slipped back into her seat beside Ethan again. They held hands, unable to sit apart without touching.

  “Don’t you want to tell her?” Ethan asked Nadine, who then blushed slightly.

  “Tell me what?” Zoe faked a smile.

  Nadine glanced her way, before holding up her left hand. “We got engaged!” Light from the sparkling ring flashed before Zoe’s eyes, a perfect spectrum of colors, on a perfect band.

  Nadine’s smile was so full, so deep, so completely opposite to the pain that lacerated Zoe.

  A shroud of silence swept over her, as shattering as a hurtling train.

  “And she accepted,” said Ethan, his eyes shining.

  Zoe stared at the ring, reminding herself to pull herself together. She feigned enthusiasm she didn’t feel. And at the same time, she was torn by her feelings, by guilt for not feeling happy for these two wonderful people who had never done her any wrong.

  “It’s beautiful. That’s just the best news, you guys. Congratulations.” She gave each of them a quick hug. “I’ll come back when you’re ready to order. I’m feeling eyes on my back.” She looked glibly over her shoulder at the manager who walked past her again.

  Zoe rushed away and started to head straight for the kitchen, oblivious to the other diners, some of whom had tried to catch her attention by raising their hands. The room around her began to spin.

  She barreled through the double swing kitchen doors and went straight into another waitress who had two plates balanced on her hands. The sound of smattering crockery hitting the hard floor reverberated throughout.

  “Sorry,” rasped Zoe.

  One second later the manager strode in. “You’d better up your game, Zoe. You’re still on trial for another week. Get this mess cleared up and get back out there.”